Because clearly I have lost my mind. Why else would I stay in a place where the air temp is -23. where the windchill temp is -44. And they expect you to leave your house. Not only do they expect you to leave your house, they expect you to come to work. While they “work from home”
Come get me. but you won’t. Because you are smart. You live in a world with a sun that is out and bright, and has heat. Not the fake sun that is “shining” outside right now. That is an illusion. There is no heat. It teases you. then it freezes you. Come get me.
I would come to you, really I would. But I can’t go outside again. My nose will slam shut. Tears in my eyes become crystals. My jacket stiffens and crackles as I walk, I pray it will not break and fall off of me in pieces. Because if it does, I will become immobile in a matter of seconds.
So when I leave tonight, I will shuffle out to my van. Sit on the ice block of a seat. Turn the key and pray the engine starts. Then I will drive over bumpy ice packed roads until I pull into the garage. Come get me. I will pay you. Kidnap me. I will pay you ransom. Oh wait. I have no money. Please come get me. I have yarn.